Anxiety and me… 

Not understanding I have anxiety for at least 10 years of my life. Not realising the symptoms. In denial that I have a problem. Losing friends over poor excuses trying not to expose my over sensitivity to everything. Feeling sad on a daily basis, worried I’ve upset someone because I didn’t respond quickly enough. Taking everything personally. 

About a year ago I faced the facts: I have anxiety. Here are my symptoms: 

  • Running my hands across my skin feeling for imperfections, picking at it till it hurts/bleeds. 
  • Pulling my hair out. 
  • Picking at my eyelashes and hair on my face. 
  • Irrational anger over nothing. 
  • Heart pulpitations. 
  • Heavy breathing/struggling to breath. 
  • Fiddling with my hands. 
  • Shaking. 
  • Putting on more and more makeup. 
  • Eating until I feel sick. 
  • Order “2 meals” so it doesn’t look like I’m just buying for myself. 
  • Getting irritated over nothing/things out of my control. 
  • Wanting to hide away- not leave the house. 
  • Shopping irresponsibly. 
  • Twitching. 
  • Feeling of sickness. 

They range from subtle to severe  and can come and go completely unexpectedly. I’d love to be rid of this and constantly on edge of “what I’m going to feel like later”, I have tried therapy and tablets and not felt they have worked for me. I am focusing on myself and helping others. Sticking to goals I am setting and pushing through; building my confidence and self esteem I believe will help me overcome the severe bouts of anxiety I adhere to currently.